I’m really angry with myself today. I’m trying hard not to let a slip up get to me too badly, but i was on a perfect streak and really focused on the end goal, and I really messed up this weekend. I am trying not to dwell on it too much because this has happened plenty of times, and i will always get back up and carry on, and I just have to continue as if nothing happened. I have plenty of time and plenty of runs ahead of me. I just always wonder if I am always going to do this. Get really really close to making what really matters the most to me happen, and then give up and put myself back.
Until yesterday, I had three perfect weeks of marathon training under my belt, and 20 straight days of step goals being met. Sometimes, just the fact that you have this streak going really can be the main driving force. Then yesterday I didn’t go for my long run (and it wasn’t even all that long! I could have gotten it done in under an hour) and I basically sat on my butt all day, eating bad food, and drinking even more calories. And I didn’t log anything after breakfast.
Im paying for it today. I feel sluggish and bloated. I debated whether or not I should do yesterday’s long run today and skip cross training for this week, but I couldn’t muster the energy and decided to carry on like it didn’t happen and stick to the schedule.
These are the things that I’m trying to keep in mind in order to move forward, and not dwell one day of mistakes:
- It was one day. One bad day. They were always going to happen.
- Beating myself up over it won’t make it any better. Dwelling on it won’t make it any better. And those new kicks up there aren’t going to get scuffed up on their own.
- The reason for my blunder was a good one. It was spent with my family and boyfriend. It was a gorgeous day and we had a great time. How can I regret a day so well spent, just because it didn’t include one element? Training, fitness, health, these are things that I am doing to enhance my life, not keep myself from enjoying the things and people that I’m trying to be healthier for in the first place.
- Beyond that bad day, I’ve been doing really well. I’ve been following training perfectly. I’ve been running good times (I ran a 7:something mile last week, maybe the first time since high school?), and I’m seeing improvement. That’s what matters.
- It’s all a lesson. This might be a lesson that I have to learn four hundred times but my god, someday, one of these days, it will get through my head.
- It’s a journey. I’ll get there. It will be okay. This journey is not linear, and I am okay with that. Or I will be. By Wednesday. When a hang over is just a distant memory…and I’m ready for a glass of wine. AFTER my run.